Radical Militant Librarians

James A. Bauch accuses librarians and the American Library Association of being "goodie-two-shoes" who are depriving Americans of their civil liberties by banning books. Mr. Bauch is referring to a full-page article in the September issue of AARP Bulletin which lists books that have been banned because they are "irreligious," "offensive," "too political," or have "too much sex." He finds the American Library Association's list of banned books "totally unacceptable."

I sympathize with Mr. Bauch, except for one thing: The ALA is not banning the books...they are promoting them. The ALA and librarians in general regularly put their necks out to ensure that Americans have the freedom to receive information (which has been determined to be a component of "freedom of speech"). In fact, librarians have been called flaming liberals and terrorists for their efforts to protect the right to read. Librarians have been challenging the Patriot Act for several years now, trying to ensure that law enforcement cannot see what books you have checked out at the library. Four librarians from Connecticut refused to comply with a National Security Letter and filed a lawsuit against the FBI, which was fishing for any patrons who might have checked out any questionable books. FBI agents complained about the "radical militant librarians." Librarians are protecting you from Big Brother, Bauch, and they proudly wear the "radical militant" badge. You should be thanking the librarians, whose motto is "Scimus quae legis, et non dicimus," or "We know what you read, and we're not saying."

To be fair to Mr. Bauch, he was not the only person who misunderstood that the Banned Books article was about books that the ALA is encouraging you to read, or at least encouraging you to have the right to read if you choose. The ALA's office of Intellectual Freedom was bombarded with complaints about the banned books. They responded with an article titled, "Relax AARP Bulletin Readers, Librarians Do Not Celebrate Book Banning."

Finally, I would like to point out that September 25 through October 2, 2010, is ALA's Annual Banned Books Week, so go read something controversial!

Bob Fartall is now following you on Twitter!

I received an email saying that Bob Fartall (@bobfartall) is now following me on Twitter. The email further warns me that I am not following Bob Fartall. I'm not sure I would want to follow Bob Fartall--I don't want to be downwind.

You are invited to follow me on Twitter (@strangenstrange), and I promise not to emit any odors.

Professors balk at having to work 16-hour weeks

The Chronicle of Higher Education reports, "Faculty members in the University of North Texas' College of Public Affairs and Community Service have new work rules this year. They are required to spend at least four hours a day, four days a week on campus, on top of the time they spend in the classroom, under a
policy adopted last week." Faculty complain that they won't have enough "scheduling flexibility."

When Kean University set up similar rules in 2008 for their professors, the faculty union sought an injunction to stop the change. The faculty lost and they are now required to be in their offices at least four days per week. They also have to teach on Fridays. What is this country coming to?

Only in Vegas...

The Second Global Symposium on Cosmetic Vaginal Surgery will be held September 23-25, 2010, in Las Vegas.

The Chronicle of Higher Education reports, "Part of the driving commercial force behind the frankengina is Dr. David Matlock of Dr. 90210 fame who also helped organize the conference.  Matlock's Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute's Web site informs us that vaginal rejuvenation maybe necessary for the 'thirty million American women (who) suffer from symptoms of vaginal relaxation … that may occur as a result of childbirth, aging, or a combination of both.'" The surgery costs between $2,000 and $15,000.

Laugh, it's clinically proven to be good for you.

Researchers in Japan have shown that laughter is good for you. Research subjects who watched 30 minutes of a funny movie experienced beneficial changes in their heart rate and blood pressure. Members of the control group, who watched a documentary, had no such changes.

Moral to the story: Sitcoms, good. Documentaries, bad.

Urban Myth: Swallowing Chewing Gum

According to Dr. David E. Milov, "swallowing an occasional piece of gum is harmless." However, if you swallow a lot of chewing gum in a short period of time, it may block your intestines, especially if you swallow it with non-digestible stuff like sunflower seeds or coins.

"Who has been swallowing large quantities of chewing gum and coins?" you ask....
Answer: If you ask that question, you are not a parent.

Step 1: Make sure you have a case before you file a lawsuit.

The Chronicle of Higher Education reports:
"The University of Notre Dame, defending itself in a lawsuit over its decision to fire a tenured engineering professor, Oliver M. Collins, has asserted in court documents that Mr. Collins used more than $190,000 in research grant money and university resources to buy unauthorized equipment, including digital cameras he used to take pornographic pictures."

A commenter on the Chronicle's blog summed it up nicely:
"If you're going to sue your employer for wrongful termination you need to be aware that the employer's defense will become public information. What was this guy thinking?"

College president decides to make lemonade out of lemons....make that diet lemonade

When a skinny alumna told Stephens College president Dianne Lynch to lose some weight, the president decided not to get offended. Instead, she took the opportunity to earn some money for her college. Lynch told the alumna that she and her staff would lose weight in exchange for a donation to the university. So they made a bargain. If the 200 employees lose a total of 250 pounds by January 1, the college will receive a $1 million dollar donation. In addition, if Lynch loses 25 pounds, the kitty goes up to $1.1 million. The gutsy alumna is remaining anonymous. So, how overweight is this college president? Here's a picture:

She looks pretty good to me. I wish I looked that good...

Fidel Castro uses the Beloit College Mind List as Evidence that America is Evil

Fidel Castro has a blog.  (That's strange enough for an entry here, but it gets better.)

Castro cites a "study published by Beloit College" as evidence that U.S. and British intelligence agencies have been distorting American children's minds via drugs and propaganda. He bemoans, "It is terrible to think that the intelligence and the feelings of children and youth in the United States could be mutilated in such a way."

Fidel was reading the Beloit College Mindset List, recently featured here. The Mindset List is an annual ritual that gives us a peak into the minds of college freshmen, mostly for the sake of making their professors feel old. For example, this year's college freshmen were born after Czechoslovakia split into the Czech Republic and Slovakia. So the Mindset List says that, for these freshmen, Czechoslovakia never existed.

Fidel (mis)quotes these horrifying facts about American college students from the Mindset List:

• "They believe Czechoslovakia never existed."
• "They believe Beethoven is a dog they saw in a film."
• 
  
  "They think Michael Angelo is a computer virus."
• 
  
  "They think that American companies have always done business in Vietnam."
• 
  
  "They think that Korean cars have always been running in their country."
• 
  
  "They believe that the United States, Canada and Mexico have always been linked to each other by a Free Trade Agreement."

Clearly, this is evidence of a U.S. plot to start a nuclear war. Fidel concludes, "I was stunned to realize to what extent education could be distorted and prostituted in a country with more than 8,000 nuclear weapons and the most powerful means of war in the whole world. To think that there are still people in their right mind capable of believing that my warnings are exaggerated!"

Actual ads on Craig's List

Trampoline for sale - $40
"Kind of rusty and missing a couples of springs, excellent condition."

1966 Lincoln Continental - $3500
"This car is in really good condition... There is a rust issue on the roof... The back window is missing, It was broken when the rust on the back window was being cleaned up... Interior is great...The front passenger seat is in need of repair...The car isn't starting at the moment... The trunk is full of spare parts." Actual image in Craig's list ad:

Bond girl science

Once again, our daring scientists are tackling important problems, like curing cancer, stopping global warming, and studying James Bond films. Some of the latest important findings include these facts about the female characters in James Bond films:

• 88 percent of "major female characters" engaged in some form of sexual activity with James Bond.
• 1 percent attempted to kill Bond before engaging in sexual activity.
• 1 percent attempted to kill Bond during sexual activity.
• 0.5 percent attempted to kill Bond after sexual activity.
• 25 percent were targeted by a weapon.
• 5.6 percent were presumed dead at the end of the film.
• 12.3 percent were definitely dead.
• 55.9 percent were "good" throughout the film.
• 14.4 percent were "bad" throughout the film.
• 8.7 percent were "bad" but turned "good."
• 7 percent were "good" but turned "bad."

It's dangerous to walk in New York

The New York Times says that a report from the New York City transporation planners reveals some counterintuitive findings about the dangers of walking in NYC:

• Despite their bad reputation, taxi cabs, "account­ed for far fewer pedestrian acci­dents in Manhattan than did pri­vate automobiles."
• "Jaywalkers were involved in fewer collisions than their law-abiding counter­parts who waited for the 'walk' sign."
• Male drivers cause 80 percent of accidents that result in a pe­destrian's death or serious in­jury.

Library shelves fall like dominoes

Someone played dominoes with the shelves in the Indiana State University library.

Ah, dominoes. It's always so much fun to watch them fall down, but so much work to set them up again.

World's best countries

Check out this great interactive graphic that shows the world's 100 best countries, based on education, health, quality of life, economic dynamism, and political environment. Americans (rank: 11) could greatly improve their lot in life by crossing the border to Canada (rank: 7) or moving to Austrailia (rank: 4). Of course, the overall best country is Finland (rank: 1), which has the best education system in the world.
Japan is the healthiest country, Norway offers the best quality of life, Singapore offers the most economic dynamism, and Sweden offers the best political environment. Whatever you do, don't move to the African nation of Burkina Faso, which has the worst quality of life and worst education system of the 100 countries listed.

Kids these days

Do you want to feel old? Yes, you say? Okay, read the Beloit College Mindset List for the Class of 2014. This list describes the world of today's college freshmen. For example,

• John McEnroe has never played professional tennis.
• DNA fingerprinting and maps of the human genome have always existed.
• Computers have never lacked a CD-ROM disk drive.
• Czechoslovakia has never existed.
• Second-hand smoke has always been an official carcinogen.
• Potato has always ended in an 'e' in New Jersey per vice presidential edict.
• They never twisted the coiled handset wire aimlessly around their wrists while chatting on the phone.

The Majestic Plastic Bag

Watch this touching documentary, which follows the path of the majestic plastic bag as it journeys to it's final destination, the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

A New Take on Recycling

Inspired by the movie "Julie and Julia," this unemployed and very talented woman started a project: turn $1 garage sale dresses into fashion statements, one a day for a year. Her motto: "365 Days. 365 New Outfits. 365 Dollars." Check out her blog, where she turns some very ugly stuff into very fashionable duds. Here's just one of the amazing before-and-after shots.

When the 365 days are up, she is planning to auction off the outfits and donate the proceeds to charity.

Schnese

Schnese is a surname, and also the name of a dog breed.

• There is a person named Rese Schnese.
• The schnese dog breed is a cross between a Schnauzer and a Havanese.

Passer-by: "What a cute puppy! What breed is he?"
Dog Owner: "Schnese"
Passer-by: "Bless You"

Tylenol for "social pain"

A University of Florida study says that acetaminophen (Tylenol) is good for your pain, even your "social pain" from hurt feelings.  Apparently, social pain and physical pain use some of the same biochemical pathways. The study found that "people who took acetaminophen daily for three weeks reported less emotional suffering over time." Also, "because research has found that being rejected triggers aggression, using acetaminophen to alleviate emotional distress could reduce the likelihood of destructive actions." So maybe Tylenol is all that is needed to prevent workplace shootings. We should put it in the water.

Winners of the Ugly Sofa Contest

The winner of the Ugly Sofa Contest has been announced.

This sofa is ugly, but I've seen worse.