Multi-Tasking Doesn't Always Save Time

This guy wants to put a flat-screen TV in his backyard so he can prune his fruit trees while he watches sports on TV. He thinks he is multi-tasking and saving time. Sure, it's a time saver if you don't count the hours spent in the ER after he severs a few fingers with the pruning shears and breaks a rib falling off the ladder while straining to see the game-winning play.

Maybe he realizes this and the pruning is just an alibi to tell his wife while he escapes to the backyard for some screen time.

Royalty: A Recession-Proof Occupation

In this recession, even the British Royal Family has to tighten its belt. However, Parliament member Edward Leigh says that the Royal Family provides an excellent return-on-investment, even in this economy. Leigh says, "Compared with the gross waste in the public sector, this is small stuff. The Queen is a lot cheaper than tedious republics like Germany. Her boost to tourism, to tradition, to heritage, to the country, is enormous. There is no doubt that the Royal family provides excellent value for money."

In fact, each British taxpayer pays only 62 pence ($0.91 in US Dollars) to support the Queen for a whole year. Sounds like a good deal to me. Now I just need to convince Americans that a figurehead monarchy could do for the U.S. economy what Queen Elizabeth does for the U.K. If everyone in the U.S. contributed 91 cents per year, I'm sure I could provide plenty of economy-boosting pomp and pageantry on the $281.8 million per year. Where do I sign up?

Unfortunate Surnames

More strange surnames:

• Toker, as in Cem Toker, leader of the Liberal Democratic Party of Turkey. (Wow...In the US, the politicians have to promise not to inhale.)
• Liberator, as in Sergeant Michael Liberator of the NYPD (who, ironically, puts people behind bars)
• Zizzo, as in Sal Zizzo, professional soccer player. (pronounced ZEET-zo, but you know the kids on the playground called him zit-zo)

Today's grand prize winner for the most awkward name:

• Nora Hongsdusit Haripotepornkul, MD, Ob/Gyn. (How do you pronounce that?)

Practice What You Preach

College professors like to complain that their students copy the content of their papers off of the Internet. Plagiarism has become a major problem in higher education. To answer the need for plagiarism-detection, a company called iParadigms created software called Turnitin, which compares student papers with a database of 130 million previously-submitted student papers, 13.5 billion web pages, and 90,000 journals and books.

Now, iParadigms has found a new market for its "originality checking" software. They have come out with a new product called CrossCheck to see if professors are plagiarizing. Scholarly journal publishers are using CrossCheck to detect plagiarism in manuscripts. One journal had to reject 23% of the papers it received due to plagiarism. Yikes! Our tax dollars are funding these "scholars."

Disclaimer: This blog always links to sources, not just to avoid plagiarism, but also because we don't think you'd believe most of what we post if we didn't provide a link to the evidence!

Strange Warnings

Today we revisit paper shredders. Some paper shredders have unusual warnings. For example, this one forbids neckties. I know this is a disappointment for all of you who need to shred your confidential neckties, but you'll just have to find a different shredder.

This shredder was manufactured by a bunch of "Bah, humbug" scrooges. They do not like the Christmas season at all. In addition to neckties, they forbid gingerbread boys and wreaths.

I guess you'll have to find an alternative way to dispose of your post-holiday leftovers.

World's Ugliest Car

What luck! Of all the cars in the world, I happened upon the ugliest today. This thing makes Pepto-Bismol look like a neutral earth tone. Note the 8AR8IE license plate.

Also, notice that it is parked in a disabled-accessible parking spot. Maybe the owner's disability is colorblindness.

Disclaimer: Strange N. Stranger is not responsible for headaches resulting from looking at this blog post.

Rejected License Plates

We've seen that there is not much off-limits when it comes to naming your child in the United States. You can name your child Aryan Nation. However, the DMV is much stricter about what you can put on a personalized license plate.

Here are some license plates that have been rejected in the US:

• ARYAN (You can name your kid Aryan, but you can't put it on your car...as if the car is going to get teased on the playground.)
• GO POSTAL (Hey, maybe they were just advertising for the USPS)
• PACKN1 (apparently a member of the NRA)
• GWBUSH (no impersonating the president)
• REDRUM (murder backwards--who at the DMV figures these out?)
• IHAV2P (where's a rest stop when you need one?)
• IPOOPD (did we need to know that?)
• IAMHIGH (are you sure you want the cops to know?)
• KLN4U (no advertising your hitman services)
• H8VICK (no dissing Michael Vick)
• TBAGGER (no announcing that you are a member of the Tea Party)

 

More Strange City Names

Generic Places

• Nameless, TN
• No Name, CO
• Nothing, AZ

Boring Places

• Plain City, UT
• Ordinary, KY
• Plainville, IN
• Boring, OR

  Depressing Towns

• Big Ugly Creek, WV
• Little Hope, PA
• Imalone, WI 
• Defeated, TN 
• Embarrass, MN
• Bummerville, CA
• Wimp, CA

  Desperate Towns

• Roads End, CA 
• Hardup, UT
• Last Chance, CO

And, just so we can end on a positive note:

Pleasant Places

• Happy, TX
• Niceville, FL
• Comfort, TX
• Hope, KS
• Carefree, AZ
• Confidence, CA
• You Bet, CA 

 And finally, the smart aleck award goes to the citizens of

• George, WA.

Strange City Names

If you are travelling from Hell, MI to Paradise, PA, you might want to make a side-trip through Purgatory, ME on the way. This unfortunate traveller started at Paradise and ended in Hell. Someone should have told him he was going the wrong way.

And remember, the road to Good Intent, NJ, will only get you to Hellhole, ID.

Non-Productivity Software

How did we ever get anything done without computers and "productivity software"? Pretty well, apparently. With email, blogs, ebay and Facebook, it's hard to focus on what you should be doing. Now people are using software to disable their computers so that they can get some work done. Programs can block email and web browsing or even completely incapacitate your computer. Now stop reading this blog and get back to work!

Illegal Baby Names

As we have seen here on the Life is Stranger than Fiction Blog, many people have unfortunate names. But that is the price you pay for free speech. For example, in New Jersey there are siblings named Adolf Hitler, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie.  I'm not sure what they were thinking of with "Hinler"...maybe they were going for Himmler, who was Hitler's right-hand man.

However, in countries without First Amendment rights, governments have passed laws to prevent parents from inflicting awful names on their children. Here's a sample of the naming laws in six countries:

In Germany and Denmark, the gender must be obvious from the name, and last names cannot be used as first names. Names that would embarrass the child are not allowed in Sweden, Germany or Denmark. In China and Japan, only certain characters can be used in names so that they can be easily written and read, and (in China) so that they can be computerized for ID cards. In Denmark, parents must choose from a list of 7,000 pre-approved names, or get special permission for a name not on the list. In Germany, you can't name your child after an object or product. In New Zealand, names that are more than 100 characters and names that resemble official titles are off-limits. Also, Japan bans "inappropriate" names such as Devil.

So, what have these laws accomplished? They have prevented children from being saddled with the following names:

• Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb111163 (pronounced Albin) 
• A (also pronounced Albin) 
• Metallica
• Superman
• Yeah Detroit
• Fish and Chips
• Anus
• Pluto
• O.crnia (punctuation included)
• @ (the "at" symbol) 

However, the laws failed to prevent these unfortunate names:

• Google
• Lego
• Nemo
• Number 16 Bus Shelter
• Violence
• Benji
• Benson and Hedges (twins)
• Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii (but later changed by a judge)

Don't Drink and Trade

The ups and downs of the stock market can drive you to drink. But stock trading and drinking do not mix. An intoxicated oil futures broker made some $520 million worth of trades in the middle of the night during a binge drinking spree last year. He has "limited recollection" of the trading as he was in an "alcohol-induced blackout" at the time. The zombie trader managed to make the price of oil go up $1.65 a barrel in about two hours' time. The oil futures company that he worked for lost almost $10 million because of his trades. Notice that the last sentence is in the past-tense ("worked"). He has been fired and barred from the stock markets for five years. Actually, he got off easy with a $107,600 fine...he's lucky he didn't have to repay the whole $10 million.

A Sign of the Economic Times

I think that this poor stop sign has fulfilled its career as a traffic sign and should be allowed to retire. Unfortunately, in this economy, no one can afford to retire, not even a faded-beyond-recognition stop sign.

Isn't it strange how people get prettier as the night goes on?

The "Closing Time Effect" is the phenomenon "that when you're drunk and it's late the people around you suddenly seem more attractive." Just to assure you that your tax dollars are going to a good cause, you will be happy to know that researchers have been studying this phenomenon regularly since 1979. The latest study, from Sydney, Australia, has determined that blood alcohol level is only partly to blame for the closing time effect. In the past, studies have claimed that the effect is also caused by the fear of going home alone as closing time approaches. But the Australian study refutes this explanation, saying that the effect is due to two factors (in addition to alcohol):

1. Exposure (looking at the same people for several hours makes them seem more attractive)
2. Scarcity (as people go home and there are fewer in the bar, the ones who are left look better)

Rest assured that the researchers will continue to study this important aspect of psychology. The Australian researchers say, "The phenomenon merits research not only because it is intrinsically interesting but because it is probably occurring nightly in every gin joint in every town in all the world."

More strange names

Nominative Determinism:

• Gary Plummer the Plumber

Nominative Determinism: We hope not.

• Surname: Belcher. Here's a website proudly stating that Belcher means "good cheer." Hey, whatever makes you happy.
• Surname: Fink. As in Stephen Fink of Fink Inc.
• Surname: Kostic. See the Kostic Family Site. My family was caustic, too, we just spelled it differently.
• Surname: Mulder. Sounds like moulder (verb: to rot and decay)

Nominative Onomatopoeia 

• Surname: Pitui. How do you pronounce that?

Lost in translation. These Vietnamese given names don't translate well into English:

• Sinh (boy)
• Dung (boy or girl)
• Bich (girl)
• Hung (boy or girl)
• Hang (girl)
• Phuc (boy or girl)

Bad surnames:

• Ciccocioppo. It looks like they were limited to the number of letters they had to work with, so they made the name really long to compensate for this shortcoming. It's the surname version of a comb-over.
• Mudd. Remember when your mom said, "Get in here right now, or your  name is Mud!"
• Lajiness. Change just one letter, and you have Laziness. That's not going to look good on a job application.

Strange products

You've heard of a paper shredder, but this is a hand shredder. Often used by the mafia when they want to remove fingers.

 

Just kidding, it's a hand-operated paper shredder. And, it was seen on TV! Oops, no, it is just "Similar to items seen on TV."

 

OK, now that I have made fun of the paper shredder, I have to say that it is actually a good little shredder. I like that it is manually operated (instead of electric) because I think it is safer to have in a household that has kids. Also, the blades are hidden, making it difficult (but, I'm sure, not impossible) for a child to hurt himself. Yes, "himself"...girls wouldn't stick their fingers in a paper shredder. The death-and-destruction gene is on the Y chromosome.

  

Strange names of businesses

Strange names are not limited to people. Here are some strange names of businesses and towns.

Strange Restaurants:

• The Boll Weevil, Augusta, GA
• Bub's Dive Bar and Grill, Pacific Beach, CA (The place is a real dive.)
• Fatty's Bar and Deli, San Diego, CA
• Dick's Last Resort, Chicago, IL
• Grumpy's BBQ Roadhouse, Allentown, PA
• Sister Pee Wee's Soul Food, San Diego, CA
• Tent City, Coronado, CA
• Latitude 32, Pacific Beach, CA (Actual latitude of the location: 32.8, so they should be "Latitude 33," but I guess they thought 32 was a more-attractive number.)
• Dos Patrons, San Diego, CA (Very exclusive...only two diners at a time!)

Businesses that want you to kiss it:

• Kiss My Glass:  Window and Window Parts, Las Vegas, NV
• Kiss My Glass:  Custom art glass, Santa Cruz, CA
• Kiss My Glass:  Window cleaning, Jackson, WY
• Kiss My Glass:  Skate Shop, Fresno, CA
• Kiss My Glass:  Auto Glass, Boynton Beach, FL

 Strange towns:

• Hell, Michigan, Actual town motto: "Come to Hell!"
• Now when you tell people to go to Hell, you can give them MapQuest directions.
• Michigan, North Dakota (Having an identity crisis?)
• Belchertown, Massachusetts
• Bellybutton, Arizona 
• Why, Arizona (A philosopher's paradise)

 And, our grand-prize winner:

• Fink Consulting, run by Andreas Fink

Leave it to humans to be the only species to defeat 400 million years of evolution

"We have one type of receptor devoted to sweet, one for salt, one for sour, and one for savory -- but, at the latest count, there are 25 different receptors for bitterness. Scientists believe this variety of bitter receptors capable of detecting thousands of different compounds helps to protect us since poisons and toxins found in nature tend to be bitter tasting." (Devin Powell, Inside Science News Service)
 
Now a company named Givaudan Flavors Corp. has invented a synthetic compound that will block our bitter receptors. The compound is called GIV3727, which makes you wonder if (like WD-40), it is the 3,727th compound that they tried. Why would anyone want to undo our bodies' natural deterrent mechanism for poisons? Because it makes your food taste good. GIV3727 will be coming soon to a diet soda near you. It has also been suggested that GIV3727 will make Brussels sprouts palatable...I guess not everything that tastes bitter is bad for you.

Isn't it strange how your name can influence who you become?

It's called nominative determinism, and here are a few I've come across lately:

• Dr. Peters is a urologist.
• Christopher Coke is a recently-arrested drug kingpin.
• Math professor Barbara Rademacher was named after St. Barbara, the patron saint of mathematicians.
• Dr. Federico Doctor specializes in Family Practice.

Here are some names for which I hope nominative determinism does not apply:

• Unfortunate surname: Slutsky
• Surname that makes you feel like a nobody: Noone
• A hurried surname: Hastie
• This surname might be hard to live up to: Slim

Isn't it strange how a recession can actually provide new job opportunities?

The bad economy has been "taking its toll on romance," and divorces are up in Japan. So an enterprising man named Hiroki Terai found a new calling in life: divorce ceremony planner. He organizes divorce ceremonies where couples can publicly end their relationship by smashing their wedding ring in front of family and friends before officially filing for divorce. Mr. Terai says, "I started this ceremony in April last year thinking that there should be a positive way to end a marriage and move on by making a vow to restart their lives in front of loved ones."

The sentiment is apparently not limited to Japan. Divorce cakes have become popular in the U.S. See this link for some pictures of divorce cakes.

I happen to have attended an "Unwedding Party" recently for a friend who was celebrating the day that her divorce was final. It was complete with cake, food, flowers and a special dress.

Question: What does it mean if you catch the bouquet at a divorce party?