News flash: Being a student involves attending class

If you want to pass your classes, it helps if you read the syllabus and actually show up for class. You would think that this student would have figured that out, given that his past classes have often had attendance policies (and syllabi). He must be a slow learner.

Actual email from a college student to a professor:

It has come to my attention that you have an attendance policy for our class of which I did not know because I did not read all of the syllabus before now. I object to this policy as it will hurt my grade and I want to protest that to you in very strong words. This has happened to me many times before that these policies exist and I do not read about them until I have skipped to many classes which is why I am so upset that this has happened to me again. It feels like all the teachers at this school are out to get me because everyone has the policies and it always sticks it to my grade in the end. So in this case I would hope that you would think of me the student and not use this policy on me since its been used so many times before already in other classes with other teachers. Its just not fair to keep it up on me.