Bad Housekeeping: How Not to Clean Your Toilet Seat

This paper insert came with a new toilet seat. It says that, when cleaning your toilet seat, "avoid detergents, disinfectants, or cleaning products in aerosol cans." Really, no disinfectants? This is a toilet seat for heaven's sake! Can you think of another item in your home that needs disinfectant more?

The instructions warn that chemicals "may damage the seat's finish." I didn't realize the seat had a finish. It's just a run-of-the-mill solid plastic toilet seat. 

I don't know what planet these people are from, but remind me never to use the restrooms there.

News of the Obvious

These shocking stories are in today's news:

• Swedish news source The Local reports this quote from model Kevin Montero, "The models are judged on how thin they are, which means that the fashion industry doesn't care about your personality."
• The LA times reports, "People's love for cats is unrequited, study indicates."
• UPI reports on the Massachusetts bill to designate a state sandwich, "Why the state Legislature feels the need to designate a (state) sandwich is itself questionable. There's plenty of other pressing business."
• The Daily Star reports, "Sexual assault is not cool, ladies."
• Finally, and most unbelievably, CNN reports that tornadoes are possible in the Great Plains region!

Our Interdependent Global Economy

Condoms mis-labelled in China cause condom shortage in Cuba.

A batch of condoms from China were mis-labelled with the wrong expiration date. Cuban officials are trying to re-package the condoms with the correct expiration date, but can't do it fast enough. As a result, most pharmacies are out-of-stock, and the pharmacies that have them are selling them for $1.30 each, which is an entire day's wage for the average Cuban.

UPDATE: Since this story originally broke, the Cuban Public Health Ministry has authorized the sale of the condoms with the incorrect expiration date. The correct expiration date is December 2014, but in light of the shortage, I guess the authorities figured that they will all be used up by then.

Ridiculous Product: Baby Cologne

Johnson & Johnson has made a product called "baby cologne," which will reportedly "leave your baby smelling clean and fresh."

Babies smell good naturally. They don't need cologne. If your baby smells bad, he needs a bath and a new diaper. And if that diaper is loaded, no amount of cologne is going to help.

Bibliotecariophobia: The Fear of Librarians

A book was returned to a library today, bearing a card showing that it was checked-out on February 6, 1980, and was due on Feb 20, 1980. The book was quietly placed in the outside book drop; I'm sure the guilt-ridden offender did not want to meet a librarian face-to-face. I'd hate to see the over-due fines that person is going to have to pay, with interest compounded over 34 years. He may have to declare bankruptcy.

  

 

To protect the privacy of the innocent as well as the guilty, patron names have been smudged 

out in the above picture of the actual check-out card, which is now an antique collector's item.

When life gives you rhino dung . . .

. . .  brand it as “Rhino-Grow” and sell it on eBay as “high-quality” fertilizer.

Data mining does it again

Based on Amazon’s “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought” suggestions, we can determine that people who buy this digital scale are drug dealers who also buy:

• "Spice" grinders
• "Tobacco" pipe screens
• Caffeine powder (to cut heroin)
• Rolling papers
• Gelatin capsules and capsule-filling machines
• And a whole lot of plastic baggies

 

See the Atlantic web site for more about The Unintentional Amazon Guide to Dealing Drugs.

Repetitive Redundancy

Quote from CNN article about the Jesus wife papyrus fragment:

 

"The main topic of the fragment is to affirm that women who are mothers and wives can be disciples of Jesus—a topic that was hotly debated in early Christianity as celibate virginity increasingly became highly valued," King said.

“Celibate virginity”? Is there any other kind?