Bumper Stickers

You've seen those braggy bumper stickers for people who have run a marathon or half-marathon:

But now they have stickers for the rest of us:

 This guy apparently made it a quarter of a mile before collapsing:

This one probably refers to 3.1 miles, or 5 km, but I prefer the interpretation that it refers not to a number, but to a food (pi, or 3.14159....)

Forget the marathon. I'll show up for pie.