A One-Way Ticket

A one-way ticket is 80% cheaper than round-trip...that is, if you are headed for Mars.

"A human mission to Mars is technologically feasible, but hugely expensive," say scientists Dirk Schulze-Makuch and Paul Davies. They have a solution: Don't bother planning for a return trip to Earth. A one-way trip would be attainable in the near future. While the scientists are not volunteering themselves, they say that they have had many volunteers. Personally, I know a few people I'd like to send to Mars.

In case you are interested, here's the itinerary: "You and a stranger would board a spacecraft and travel for six months — absorbing levels of radiation so high that your reproductive organs would be destroyed — before arriving at your new planet. There you would live in an ice cave, or perhaps inside a biosphere adjoining a cave, for the rest of your life (which, incidentally, would be 20 years or less). Two other Earth ex-pats would arrive in their own craft, and together the four of you would prepare a home for 150 more people, most of whom would arrive decades after your death."

One commenter noted, "Actually preparing a place for only 150 is just 385 too few. There are 435 members of the House of Representatives and 100 United States Senators."

Typos Gone Wild

There must be cannabis in the air...here's another post about marijuana.

Every summer, the California Library Association organizes a Summer Reading Program for all of the public libraries in the state to implement. The idea is to keep kids reading and learning over the summer vacation. They have already issued the manuals for the 2011 Summer Reading Program, which will focus on "Travel and World Cultures." Unfortunately, there was a typo in the Children's Manual. Under "Books to Share," it lists "De Colores...La Ganja / The Farm"

It is supposed to be granja ("farm" in Spanish), but the 'r' is missing. Instead, it refers to ganja, a.k.a. marijuana. Oh well, maybe it's a Freudian slip. After all, there is a proposition on the ballot in California to legalize cannabis. So maybe the kids can learn about hemp farms. It might make a good summer job, perfect for the Summer Reading Program.

Cracking down on crime has never felt so good.

Yesterday, Mexican police set fire to a 134 ton pile of marijuana that they seized from the local drug cartel. Dozens of local, state and federal officials took time out of their day to attend the burning.
 
In other news, fast food sales near the US-Mexico board are off the charts today.

Strange Signs

Remember Gary Larson's cartoon about the Midvale School for the Gifted?

I saw this sign posted on a door at a private school for students with average to above-average intelligence.

Strange Quote of the Day (and a Strange Crime)

The quote of the day is:

"As it turns out, being arrested is a great way to induce labor."

Two women were stealing software from Wal-Mart when they got caught. Upon being arrested, one woman went into labor, and had to be taken to the hospital instead of the police station. She is being charged with theft. I would add a charge of corrupting a minor for involving the baby in the heist.

Strange Signs

I took this picture in downtown San Diego today. I think there is a one-way street, but I can't figure out which way it goes:

Here's another great sign photo (from theBerry.com). Note to self: When you hang a "Lease" sign in front of a "Subway" sign, take a step back and look at the big picture.

Drowning in Stupidity

From John McAllister of "Friends of the San Diego Library":

"Speaking in a blog, Gayle Falkenthal, spokesperson for NO on Proposition D, challenged the need for libraries in today's society:

 

Government should provide essential service and NO MORE. But essential services aren't all that easy to define. Let's focus on the City of San Diego. Sure, we all agree on police and fire protection being essential. What about lifeguard service? I say no. It's your choice to go into the ocean, so you accept the risk. Libraries? I love libraries but they aren't essential either, certainly not in the age of the Internet.  

"Library services are more important and popular than ever, with circulation at an all-time high and use of Library Internet and technology resources exploding."

We don't need lifeguards and libraries...we can be illiterate when we drown.

Toilet Creativity (continued)

In a continuation of the idea of putting creative things down the toilet...

This is what it looks like when you empty 32 glow sticks into the water tank of a toilet and flush it. Extra credit for making the colors change with each flush.



Some people have too much spare time.

Strange Crimes: Toilet is Victim of Vandalism

California cop trashes his foreclosed, million-dollar home. I give him points for creativity: He poured concrete down the toilet. That's inventive and probably really expensive to repair.

Strange Crimes: Police Sting Operation Comes Back to Bite Them

On Monday, October 4, 2010, Sean Alivera and Christopher Luciano stole 20 pounds of marijuana and $3,000 from a Philadelphia drug dealer. So what's so unusual about that? All three of them were cops. The "drug dealer" was undercover. Alivera and Luciano were on duty and in uniform. They planned to resell the pot for $24,000. Instead, they will be appearing in court, like the 13 other Philadelphia police officers arrested in the last two years. The other officers were charged with a variety of offenses, including cheating at a casino, battery with a hockey stick, and stealing heroin.

All this begs the question: If the cops are so busy policing each other, who is policing the criminals?

Strange crimes: Birds behind bars

This parrot was arrested by Columbian police for "aiding and abetting drug traffickers." He was trained as a lookout, and when he saw police coming, he warned the traffickers, "Run, run, the cat is going to get you." (In Spanish...Columbian parrots don't speak English.) The police have detained over a thousand birds trained as lookouts.

Strange Crime: Mom Leaves Toddler Alone, Smokes Marijuana

Parenting Tip #1: Don't smoke pot in front of your kids.

This mother must have had that tip in mind when she "left her 1-year-old child alone in a car for more than 40 minutes while she was inside her home smoking marijuana." She was arrested on "charges of endangering the welfare of a child, marijuana possession, and resisting arrest."

New Las Vegas Attraction: The Death Ray

The new Las Vegas hotel, the Vdara, is covered in reflective glass and shaped like a parabola. In case you don't recall your high school geometry classes, a parabola is perfect for focussing parallel light rays. What this means in the Las Vegas sun is that the hotel concentrates sunlight into a 10 foot by 15 foot "Death Ray"--a hot spot that singes the hair of those sitting next to the pool. The Death Ray has melted plastic and it is just a matter of time before a drunk hotel guest falls asleep next to the pool and wakes up with 3rd degree burns.

But don't take my word for it. Here is Katie Couric:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Strange Crimes: Suicide

Unfortunately, suicide is not a "strange" crime in that it is not uncommon. What's strange (and ironic) about the recent suicide is the ineffectiveness of the University of Texas to prevent it (and the other 5 suicides at UT in the last twelve months). On Tuesday, Sept 28, 2010, 19-year-old Colton Tooley fatally shot himself with an AK-47 in the campus library of UT Austin. The story is tragic, but the irony is that the university observed National Suicide Prevention Awareness Week just last week.

The irony continued when the group Students for Concealed Carry on Campus decided to cancel the lecture that they had scheduled for the same day. The lecture was to be given by John Lott, author of More Guns, Less Crime. In The Huffington Post, John Woods notes that Lott's title would be more accurate if it was changed to More Guns, More Suicides, because suicide rates increase in direct proportion to gun ownership rates. Woods says, "Fully half of all firearms deaths in the U.S. are suicides, and 80 to 90 percent of suicide attempts with firearms are successful. Compare this to drug overdose, which is only successful 30 to 40 percent of the time...Indeed, social scientists use suicide rates as a proxy for household handgun ownership rates, because the correlation is so very strong. Instead of pushing for barely trained students to carry guns, let's talk about how we can keep firearms out of the hands of those who are struggling. Let's talk about getting them access to counseling."

Amen.

Dictionaries banned from schools

More Banned Books Week news:


The American Library Association has a list of books banned or challenged in 2009-2010. For the record, the American Library Association is NOT banning the books...they are protecting your right to read books even if someone else deems them "offensive." The list is titled, "Think for yourself and let others do the same."


As an example of the danger of letting someone else determine what you can or cannot read, here is one of the books that was pulled from school libraries because it is inappropriate for children:

Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary
"Pulled from the Menifee, Calif. Union School District (2010) because a parent complained when a child came across the term 'oral sex.' Officials said the district is forming a committee to consider a permanent classroom ban of the dictionary."
Librarians are corrupting the next generation and providing salacious material to your children...in the form of the Merriam-Webster dictionary. What will these radical militant librarians think of next?

Radical Militant Librarians

James A. Bauch accuses librarians and the American Library Association of being "goodie-two-shoes" who are depriving Americans of their civil liberties by banning books. Mr. Bauch is referring to a full-page article in the September issue of AARP Bulletin which lists books that have been banned because they are "irreligious," "offensive," "too political," or have "too much sex." He finds the American Library Association's list of banned books "totally unacceptable."

I sympathize with Mr. Bauch, except for one thing: The ALA is not banning the books...they are promoting them. The ALA and librarians in general regularly put their necks out to ensure that Americans have the freedom to receive information (which has been determined to be a component of "freedom of speech"). In fact, librarians have been called flaming liberals and terrorists for their efforts to protect the right to read. Librarians have been challenging the Patriot Act for several years now, trying to ensure that law enforcement cannot see what books you have checked out at the library. Four librarians from Connecticut refused to comply with a National Security Letter and filed a lawsuit against the FBI, which was fishing for any patrons who might have checked out any questionable books. FBI agents complained about the "radical militant librarians." Librarians are protecting you from Big Brother, Bauch, and they proudly wear the "radical militant" badge. You should be thanking the librarians, whose motto is "Scimus quae legis, et non dicimus," or "We know what you read, and we're not saying."

To be fair to Mr. Bauch, he was not the only person who misunderstood that the Banned Books article was about books that the ALA is encouraging you to read, or at least encouraging you to have the right to read if you choose. The ALA's office of Intellectual Freedom was bombarded with complaints about the banned books. They responded with an article titled, "Relax AARP Bulletin Readers, Librarians Do Not Celebrate Book Banning."

Finally, I would like to point out that September 25 through October 2, 2010, is ALA's Annual Banned Books Week, so go read something controversial!

Bob Fartall is now following you on Twitter!

I received an email saying that Bob Fartall (@bobfartall) is now following me on Twitter. The email further warns me that I am not following Bob Fartall. I'm not sure I would want to follow Bob Fartall--I don't want to be downwind.

You are invited to follow me on Twitter (@strangenstrange), and I promise not to emit any odors.

Professors balk at having to work 16-hour weeks

The Chronicle of Higher Education reports, "Faculty members in the University of North Texas' College of Public Affairs and Community Service have new work rules this year. They are required to spend at least four hours a day, four days a week on campus, on top of the time they spend in the classroom, under a
policy adopted last week." Faculty complain that they won't have enough "scheduling flexibility."

When Kean University set up similar rules in 2008 for their professors, the faculty union sought an injunction to stop the change. The faculty lost and they are now required to be in their offices at least four days per week. They also have to teach on Fridays. What is this country coming to?

Only in Vegas...

The Second Global Symposium on Cosmetic Vaginal Surgery will be held September 23-25, 2010, in Las Vegas.

The Chronicle of Higher Education reports, "Part of the driving commercial force behind the frankengina is Dr. David Matlock of Dr. 90210 fame who also helped organize the conference.  Matlock's Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute's Web site informs us that vaginal rejuvenation maybe necessary for the 'thirty million American women (who) suffer from symptoms of vaginal relaxation … that may occur as a result of childbirth, aging, or a combination of both.'" The surgery costs between $2,000 and $15,000.

Laugh, it's clinically proven to be good for you.

Researchers in Japan have shown that laughter is good for you. Research subjects who watched 30 minutes of a funny movie experienced beneficial changes in their heart rate and blood pressure. Members of the control group, who watched a documentary, had no such changes.

Moral to the story: Sitcoms, good. Documentaries, bad.