A One-Way Ticket

A one-way ticket is 80% cheaper than round-trip...that is, if you are headed for Mars.

"A human mission to Mars is technologically feasible, but hugely expensive," say scientists Dirk Schulze-Makuch and Paul Davies. They have a solution: Don't bother planning for a return trip to Earth. A one-way trip would be attainable in the near future. While the scientists are not volunteering themselves, they say that they have had many volunteers. Personally, I know a few people I'd like to send to Mars.

In case you are interested, here's the itinerary: "You and a stranger would board a spacecraft and travel for six months — absorbing levels of radiation so high that your reproductive organs would be destroyed — before arriving at your new planet. There you would live in an ice cave, or perhaps inside a biosphere adjoining a cave, for the rest of your life (which, incidentally, would be 20 years or less). Two other Earth ex-pats would arrive in their own craft, and together the four of you would prepare a home for 150 more people, most of whom would arrive decades after your death."

One commenter noted, "Actually preparing a place for only 150 is just 385 too few. There are 435 members of the House of Representatives and 100 United States Senators."

Typos Gone Wild

There must be cannabis in the air...here's another post about marijuana.

Every summer, the California Library Association organizes a Summer Reading Program for all of the public libraries in the state to implement. The idea is to keep kids reading and learning over the summer vacation. They have already issued the manuals for the 2011 Summer Reading Program, which will focus on "Travel and World Cultures." Unfortunately, there was a typo in the Children's Manual. Under "Books to Share," it lists "De Colores...La Ganja / The Farm"

It is supposed to be granja ("farm" in Spanish), but the 'r' is missing. Instead, it refers to ganja, a.k.a. marijuana. Oh well, maybe it's a Freudian slip. After all, there is a proposition on the ballot in California to legalize cannabis. So maybe the kids can learn about hemp farms. It might make a good summer job, perfect for the Summer Reading Program.

Cracking down on crime has never felt so good.

Yesterday, Mexican police set fire to a 134 ton pile of marijuana that they seized from the local drug cartel. Dozens of local, state and federal officials took time out of their day to attend the burning.
 
In other news, fast food sales near the US-Mexico board are off the charts today.

Strange Signs

Remember Gary Larson's cartoon about the Midvale School for the Gifted?

I saw this sign posted on a door at a private school for students with average to above-average intelligence.

Strange Quote of the Day (and a Strange Crime)

The quote of the day is:

"As it turns out, being arrested is a great way to induce labor."

Two women were stealing software from Wal-Mart when they got caught. Upon being arrested, one woman went into labor, and had to be taken to the hospital instead of the police station. She is being charged with theft. I would add a charge of corrupting a minor for involving the baby in the heist.

Strange Signs

I took this picture in downtown San Diego today. I think there is a one-way street, but I can't figure out which way it goes:

Here's another great sign photo (from theBerry.com). Note to self: When you hang a "Lease" sign in front of a "Subway" sign, take a step back and look at the big picture.

Drowning in Stupidity

From John McAllister of "Friends of the San Diego Library":

"Speaking in a blog, Gayle Falkenthal, spokesperson for NO on Proposition D, challenged the need for libraries in today's society:

 

Government should provide essential service and NO MORE. But essential services aren't all that easy to define. Let's focus on the City of San Diego. Sure, we all agree on police and fire protection being essential. What about lifeguard service? I say no. It's your choice to go into the ocean, so you accept the risk. Libraries? I love libraries but they aren't essential either, certainly not in the age of the Internet.  

"Library services are more important and popular than ever, with circulation at an all-time high and use of Library Internet and technology resources exploding."

We don't need lifeguards and libraries...we can be illiterate when we drown.

Toilet Creativity (continued)

In a continuation of the idea of putting creative things down the toilet...

This is what it looks like when you empty 32 glow sticks into the water tank of a toilet and flush it. Extra credit for making the colors change with each flush.



Some people have too much spare time.

Strange Crimes: Toilet is Victim of Vandalism

California cop trashes his foreclosed, million-dollar home. I give him points for creativity: He poured concrete down the toilet. That's inventive and probably really expensive to repair.

Strange Crimes: Police Sting Operation Comes Back to Bite Them

On Monday, October 4, 2010, Sean Alivera and Christopher Luciano stole 20 pounds of marijuana and $3,000 from a Philadelphia drug dealer. So what's so unusual about that? All three of them were cops. The "drug dealer" was undercover. Alivera and Luciano were on duty and in uniform. They planned to resell the pot for $24,000. Instead, they will be appearing in court, like the 13 other Philadelphia police officers arrested in the last two years. The other officers were charged with a variety of offenses, including cheating at a casino, battery with a hockey stick, and stealing heroin.

All this begs the question: If the cops are so busy policing each other, who is policing the criminals?

Strange crimes: Birds behind bars

This parrot was arrested by Columbian police for "aiding and abetting drug traffickers." He was trained as a lookout, and when he saw police coming, he warned the traffickers, "Run, run, the cat is going to get you." (In Spanish...Columbian parrots don't speak English.) The police have detained over a thousand birds trained as lookouts.

Strange Crime: Mom Leaves Toddler Alone, Smokes Marijuana

Parenting Tip #1: Don't smoke pot in front of your kids.

This mother must have had that tip in mind when she "left her 1-year-old child alone in a car for more than 40 minutes while she was inside her home smoking marijuana." She was arrested on "charges of endangering the welfare of a child, marijuana possession, and resisting arrest."

New Las Vegas Attraction: The Death Ray

The new Las Vegas hotel, the Vdara, is covered in reflective glass and shaped like a parabola. In case you don't recall your high school geometry classes, a parabola is perfect for focussing parallel light rays. What this means in the Las Vegas sun is that the hotel concentrates sunlight into a 10 foot by 15 foot "Death Ray"--a hot spot that singes the hair of those sitting next to the pool. The Death Ray has melted plastic and it is just a matter of time before a drunk hotel guest falls asleep next to the pool and wakes up with 3rd degree burns.

But don't take my word for it. Here is Katie Couric:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Strange Crimes: Suicide

Unfortunately, suicide is not a "strange" crime in that it is not uncommon. What's strange (and ironic) about the recent suicide is the ineffectiveness of the University of Texas to prevent it (and the other 5 suicides at UT in the last twelve months). On Tuesday, Sept 28, 2010, 19-year-old Colton Tooley fatally shot himself with an AK-47 in the campus library of UT Austin. The story is tragic, but the irony is that the university observed National Suicide Prevention Awareness Week just last week.

The irony continued when the group Students for Concealed Carry on Campus decided to cancel the lecture that they had scheduled for the same day. The lecture was to be given by John Lott, author of More Guns, Less Crime. In The Huffington Post, John Woods notes that Lott's title would be more accurate if it was changed to More Guns, More Suicides, because suicide rates increase in direct proportion to gun ownership rates. Woods says, "Fully half of all firearms deaths in the U.S. are suicides, and 80 to 90 percent of suicide attempts with firearms are successful. Compare this to drug overdose, which is only successful 30 to 40 percent of the time...Indeed, social scientists use suicide rates as a proxy for household handgun ownership rates, because the correlation is so very strong. Instead of pushing for barely trained students to carry guns, let's talk about how we can keep firearms out of the hands of those who are struggling. Let's talk about getting them access to counseling."

Amen.

Dictionaries banned from schools

More Banned Books Week news:


The American Library Association has a list of books banned or challenged in 2009-2010. For the record, the American Library Association is NOT banning the books...they are protecting your right to read books even if someone else deems them "offensive." The list is titled, "Think for yourself and let others do the same."


As an example of the danger of letting someone else determine what you can or cannot read, here is one of the books that was pulled from school libraries because it is inappropriate for children:

Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary
"Pulled from the Menifee, Calif. Union School District (2010) because a parent complained when a child came across the term 'oral sex.' Officials said the district is forming a committee to consider a permanent classroom ban of the dictionary."
Librarians are corrupting the next generation and providing salacious material to your children...in the form of the Merriam-Webster dictionary. What will these radical militant librarians think of next?

Radical Militant Librarians

James A. Bauch accuses librarians and the American Library Association of being "goodie-two-shoes" who are depriving Americans of their civil liberties by banning books. Mr. Bauch is referring to a full-page article in the September issue of AARP Bulletin which lists books that have been banned because they are "irreligious," "offensive," "too political," or have "too much sex." He finds the American Library Association's list of banned books "totally unacceptable."

I sympathize with Mr. Bauch, except for one thing: The ALA is not banning the books...they are promoting them. The ALA and librarians in general regularly put their necks out to ensure that Americans have the freedom to receive information (which has been determined to be a component of "freedom of speech"). In fact, librarians have been called flaming liberals and terrorists for their efforts to protect the right to read. Librarians have been challenging the Patriot Act for several years now, trying to ensure that law enforcement cannot see what books you have checked out at the library. Four librarians from Connecticut refused to comply with a National Security Letter and filed a lawsuit against the FBI, which was fishing for any patrons who might have checked out any questionable books. FBI agents complained about the "radical militant librarians." Librarians are protecting you from Big Brother, Bauch, and they proudly wear the "radical militant" badge. You should be thanking the librarians, whose motto is "Scimus quae legis, et non dicimus," or "We know what you read, and we're not saying."

To be fair to Mr. Bauch, he was not the only person who misunderstood that the Banned Books article was about books that the ALA is encouraging you to read, or at least encouraging you to have the right to read if you choose. The ALA's office of Intellectual Freedom was bombarded with complaints about the banned books. They responded with an article titled, "Relax AARP Bulletin Readers, Librarians Do Not Celebrate Book Banning."

Finally, I would like to point out that September 25 through October 2, 2010, is ALA's Annual Banned Books Week, so go read something controversial!

Bob Fartall is now following you on Twitter!

I received an email saying that Bob Fartall (@bobfartall) is now following me on Twitter. The email further warns me that I am not following Bob Fartall. I'm not sure I would want to follow Bob Fartall--I don't want to be downwind.

You are invited to follow me on Twitter (@strangenstrange), and I promise not to emit any odors.

Professors balk at having to work 16-hour weeks

The Chronicle of Higher Education reports, "Faculty members in the University of North Texas' College of Public Affairs and Community Service have new work rules this year. They are required to spend at least four hours a day, four days a week on campus, on top of the time they spend in the classroom, under a
policy adopted last week." Faculty complain that they won't have enough "scheduling flexibility."

When Kean University set up similar rules in 2008 for their professors, the faculty union sought an injunction to stop the change. The faculty lost and they are now required to be in their offices at least four days per week. They also have to teach on Fridays. What is this country coming to?

Only in Vegas...

The Second Global Symposium on Cosmetic Vaginal Surgery will be held September 23-25, 2010, in Las Vegas.

The Chronicle of Higher Education reports, "Part of the driving commercial force behind the frankengina is Dr. David Matlock of Dr. 90210 fame who also helped organize the conference.  Matlock's Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute's Web site informs us that vaginal rejuvenation maybe necessary for the 'thirty million American women (who) suffer from symptoms of vaginal relaxation … that may occur as a result of childbirth, aging, or a combination of both.'" The surgery costs between $2,000 and $15,000.

Laugh, it's clinically proven to be good for you.

Researchers in Japan have shown that laughter is good for you. Research subjects who watched 30 minutes of a funny movie experienced beneficial changes in their heart rate and blood pressure. Members of the control group, who watched a documentary, had no such changes.

Moral to the story: Sitcoms, good. Documentaries, bad.

Urban Myth: Swallowing Chewing Gum

According to Dr. David E. Milov, "swallowing an occasional piece of gum is harmless." However, if you swallow a lot of chewing gum in a short period of time, it may block your intestines, especially if you swallow it with non-digestible stuff like sunflower seeds or coins.

"Who has been swallowing large quantities of chewing gum and coins?" you ask....
Answer: If you ask that question, you are not a parent.

Step 1: Make sure you have a case before you file a lawsuit.

The Chronicle of Higher Education reports:
"The University of Notre Dame, defending itself in a lawsuit over its decision to fire a tenured engineering professor, Oliver M. Collins, has asserted in court documents that Mr. Collins used more than $190,000 in research grant money and university resources to buy unauthorized equipment, including digital cameras he used to take pornographic pictures."

A commenter on the Chronicle's blog summed it up nicely:
"If you're going to sue your employer for wrongful termination you need to be aware that the employer's defense will become public information. What was this guy thinking?"

College president decides to make lemonade out of lemons....make that diet lemonade

When a skinny alumna told Stephens College president Dianne Lynch to lose some weight, the president decided not to get offended. Instead, she took the opportunity to earn some money for her college. Lynch told the alumna that she and her staff would lose weight in exchange for a donation to the university. So they made a bargain. If the 200 employees lose a total of 250 pounds by January 1, the college will receive a $1 million dollar donation. In addition, if Lynch loses 25 pounds, the kitty goes up to $1.1 million. The gutsy alumna is remaining anonymous. So, how overweight is this college president? Here's a picture:

She looks pretty good to me. I wish I looked that good...

Fidel Castro uses the Beloit College Mind List as Evidence that America is Evil

Fidel Castro has a blog.  (That's strange enough for an entry here, but it gets better.)

Castro cites a "study published by Beloit College" as evidence that U.S. and British intelligence agencies have been distorting American children's minds via drugs and propaganda. He bemoans, "It is terrible to think that the intelligence and the feelings of children and youth in the United States could be mutilated in such a way."

Fidel was reading the Beloit College Mindset List, recently featured here. The Mindset List is an annual ritual that gives us a peak into the minds of college freshmen, mostly for the sake of making their professors feel old. For example, this year's college freshmen were born after Czechoslovakia split into the Czech Republic and Slovakia. So the Mindset List says that, for these freshmen, Czechoslovakia never existed.

Fidel (mis)quotes these horrifying facts about American college students from the Mindset List:

• "They believe Czechoslovakia never existed."
• "They believe Beethoven is a dog they saw in a film."
• 
  
  "They think Michael Angelo is a computer virus."
• 
  
  "They think that American companies have always done business in Vietnam."
• 
  
  "They think that Korean cars have always been running in their country."
• 
  
  "They believe that the United States, Canada and Mexico have always been linked to each other by a Free Trade Agreement."

Clearly, this is evidence of a U.S. plot to start a nuclear war. Fidel concludes, "I was stunned to realize to what extent education could be distorted and prostituted in a country with more than 8,000 nuclear weapons and the most powerful means of war in the whole world. To think that there are still people in their right mind capable of believing that my warnings are exaggerated!"

Actual ads on Craig's List

Trampoline for sale - $40
"Kind of rusty and missing a couples of springs, excellent condition."

1966 Lincoln Continental - $3500
"This car is in really good condition... There is a rust issue on the roof... The back window is missing, It was broken when the rust on the back window was being cleaned up... Interior is great...The front passenger seat is in need of repair...The car isn't starting at the moment... The trunk is full of spare parts." Actual image in Craig's list ad:

Bond girl science

Once again, our daring scientists are tackling important problems, like curing cancer, stopping global warming, and studying James Bond films. Some of the latest important findings include these facts about the female characters in James Bond films:

• 88 percent of "major female characters" engaged in some form of sexual activity with James Bond.
• 1 percent attempted to kill Bond before engaging in sexual activity.
• 1 percent attempted to kill Bond during sexual activity.
• 0.5 percent attempted to kill Bond after sexual activity.
• 25 percent were targeted by a weapon.
• 5.6 percent were presumed dead at the end of the film.
• 12.3 percent were definitely dead.
• 55.9 percent were "good" throughout the film.
• 14.4 percent were "bad" throughout the film.
• 8.7 percent were "bad" but turned "good."
• 7 percent were "good" but turned "bad."

It's dangerous to walk in New York

The New York Times says that a report from the New York City transporation planners reveals some counterintuitive findings about the dangers of walking in NYC:

• Despite their bad reputation, taxi cabs, "account­ed for far fewer pedestrian acci­dents in Manhattan than did pri­vate automobiles."
• "Jaywalkers were involved in fewer collisions than their law-abiding counter­parts who waited for the 'walk' sign."
• Male drivers cause 80 percent of accidents that result in a pe­destrian's death or serious in­jury.

Library shelves fall like dominoes

Someone played dominoes with the shelves in the Indiana State University library.

Ah, dominoes. It's always so much fun to watch them fall down, but so much work to set them up again.

World's best countries

Check out this great interactive graphic that shows the world's 100 best countries, based on education, health, quality of life, economic dynamism, and political environment. Americans (rank: 11) could greatly improve their lot in life by crossing the border to Canada (rank: 7) or moving to Austrailia (rank: 4). Of course, the overall best country is Finland (rank: 1), which has the best education system in the world.
Japan is the healthiest country, Norway offers the best quality of life, Singapore offers the most economic dynamism, and Sweden offers the best political environment. Whatever you do, don't move to the African nation of Burkina Faso, which has the worst quality of life and worst education system of the 100 countries listed.

Kids these days

Do you want to feel old? Yes, you say? Okay, read the Beloit College Mindset List for the Class of 2014. This list describes the world of today's college freshmen. For example,

• John McEnroe has never played professional tennis.
• DNA fingerprinting and maps of the human genome have always existed.
• Computers have never lacked a CD-ROM disk drive.
• Czechoslovakia has never existed.
• Second-hand smoke has always been an official carcinogen.
• Potato has always ended in an 'e' in New Jersey per vice presidential edict.
• They never twisted the coiled handset wire aimlessly around their wrists while chatting on the phone.

The Majestic Plastic Bag

Watch this touching documentary, which follows the path of the majestic plastic bag as it journeys to it's final destination, the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.

A New Take on Recycling

Inspired by the movie "Julie and Julia," this unemployed and very talented woman started a project: turn $1 garage sale dresses into fashion statements, one a day for a year. Her motto: "365 Days. 365 New Outfits. 365 Dollars." Check out her blog, where she turns some very ugly stuff into very fashionable duds. Here's just one of the amazing before-and-after shots.

When the 365 days are up, she is planning to auction off the outfits and donate the proceeds to charity.

Schnese

Schnese is a surname, and also the name of a dog breed.

• There is a person named Rese Schnese.
• The schnese dog breed is a cross between a Schnauzer and a Havanese.

Passer-by: "What a cute puppy! What breed is he?"
Dog Owner: "Schnese"
Passer-by: "Bless You"

Tylenol for "social pain"

A University of Florida study says that acetaminophen (Tylenol) is good for your pain, even your "social pain" from hurt feelings.  Apparently, social pain and physical pain use some of the same biochemical pathways. The study found that "people who took acetaminophen daily for three weeks reported less emotional suffering over time." Also, "because research has found that being rejected triggers aggression, using acetaminophen to alleviate emotional distress could reduce the likelihood of destructive actions." So maybe Tylenol is all that is needed to prevent workplace shootings. We should put it in the water.

Winners of the Ugly Sofa Contest

The winner of the Ugly Sofa Contest has been announced.

This sofa is ugly, but I've seen worse.

University Library appears in Inception

The snow fortress in the movie Inception (left) is modelled after the library at University of California, San Diego (right).




This unusual piece of architecture is the pride and joy of the university. The library's shape is featured in the university's logo.

This is not the first movie that has used the library. It has been featured in several films and TV shows and even a novel.

Important Dermatology Report: How to get an all-over tan

Dermatologist Jonathan L. Rees reports that the skin on your backside resists tanning because it is thick. If you really want a tan on your butt, Dr. Rees suggests that you use fake tanning lotion.

Medical research at its finest!

Crime is Expensive

Researchers have put a price tag on crime. The have added up the costs to society involved in catching, prosecuting and incarcerating criminals. They also added in the lost productivity of both criminal and victim. So how much does crime pay cost?

• Murder: $24 million
• Rape: $448,532
• Armed robbery:$335,733
• Simple burglary: $41,288

We've had a lot of posts about crime lately. It must be the bad economy.

Animated U.S. Unemployment Map: A Horror Film

Check out this animated map that depicts the U.S. unemployment rates by county from January 2007 through May 2010.

You can watch as the unemployment spreads from both coasts inward, eventually engulfing the Great Plains. (Apparently Nebraska is the safest place to be right now.) The map turns red, purple and then black as unemployment hits record levels. The colors are reminiscent of a black eye, which is what this economy has given us.




The map is courtesy of The American Observer, the graduate journalism magazine published through American University's School of Communication.

Respect for the Elderly Day

In preparation for "Respect the Elderly Day," Japanese officials were updating their list of centenarians. Police helped them break into the room of a man who was supposedly 111, only to find his mummified body. They believe that he actually died 30 years ago, but his relatives kept his death a secret so that they could collect his pension. Way to respect your elders!

In these tough economic times, even crime doesn't pay what it used to

A man who robbed a Wendy's restaurant called the restaurant twice to complain about the amount of money in the cash drawer that he stole. He reportedly said that "next time there better be more than $586."

The glass ceiling (windshield) in the auto theft industry: not an Equal Opportunity Employer

Car thievery is an industry like any other, with mentors ("technical advisors") who train new thiefs in the art of hot-wiring. And, like so many industries, women are not given equal access to the career ladder. Researchers have found that women are equally adept at actually stealing the cars, but their careers are stunted by a lack of access to social networks of criminals and chop shops. Without a lucrative way to dispose of the merchandise, the car theft business doesn't provide an acceptable ROI.

Winner of the "It's Not My Job" Award

Workmen striping a road painted around a dead badger because they said it "wasn't their responsibility" to clean up the road kill. They left a big gap in the white lines on the road where the badger was.

Duct tape fashion

Prom dress to expensive? No problem! Just make a dress out of duct tape.

Get Paid to Get Dressed

A German policeman convinced judges that the 15 minutes he spends getting dressed each day amount to overtime. He will be reimbursed via extra vacation or extra pay. This officer is not alone: 120 other German police officers are filing the same grievance. I just have a few questions:

(1) Why does it take him 15 minutes to get dressed? What do police officers in Germany wear? Astronaut gear?
(2) Can I get paid to get dressed? Would I have to show up at work in my pajamas, and then get dressed after punching the clock?
(3) How does this apply to exotic dancers, who normally get paid to undress?

Bank Robbery is Back in Style

Bank robbery is once again a popular pursuit. Check out these three recent robbery (attempts).

• Dennis Hawkins thought fake breasts and a blonde wig would be a good disguise...no one would guess he's really a man, except maybe he should have shaved off his beard first.
• Peter Lawrence, a 71-year-old in a wheelchair, actually wanted to get caught after robbing a San Diego bank. He told police he wanted to go to prison because the healthcare was good. (Healthcare reform can't come soon enough!)
• Edward Pemberton was quite a success, robbing two New York banks without even a gun. His weapon of choice: a bouquet of flowers. Police were able to arrest him after canvassing the Flower District.

Man's Best Friend: Not!

Check out this headline: Man Shot by Dog. The man was shot in the backside when his dog "accidentally" stepped on the trigger of a loaded rifle. The police are saying it was accidental, but I think it was revenge for making Fido chase after a stick for the 1,000th time.

Shark Attack

"Magic Carpet Ride," a statue of a surfer in Cardiff, California, is a target of much mischief. The locals call it the "Cardiff Cook" and regularly dress it in seasonal attire.

The most recent prank was to have a shark eat the surfer.

The best part is that the shark circled the statue before moving in for the kill. Paper mache shark fins appeared on the other side of the highway, and then moved closer to the statue over a couple of days. Locals have started a "Save the Shark" campaign to keep the shark, which they feel is a dramatic improvement to the statue. However, city officials plan to remove it this week.

Entertaining legal opinions

Today Google Scholar is highlighting entertaining legal opinions. Apparently, some U.S. judges have time to write their opinions in verse, sometimes even to the tune of LeAnn Rimes songs.

My favorite is from a case where a man sued the woman who wrapped a car around his oak tree:

We thought that we would never see
A suit to compensate a tree.
A suit whose claim in tort is prest
Upon a mangled tree's behest;

A tree whose battered trunk was prest
Against a Chevy's crumpled crest;
A tree that faces each new day
With bark and limb in disarray;

A tree that may forever bear
A lasting need for tender care.
Flora lovers though we three,
We must uphold the court's decree.

--The Honorable Judges Bronson, Brennan and Gillis of the Michigan Court of Appeals, January 10, 1983.

Ugly Sofa Contest

Quick, take a picture of your sofa and submit it for this contest. The winner of the Ugly Sofa Contest gets a free sofa. Runners-up get 50% off a sofa. The deadline is July 31, 2010.

108-year-old Woman Wants a Baby

This article is so priceless, I'm going to quote it word-for-word:

"A 108-year-old woman and her former drug addict husband want to adopt, and they'll even take an out-of-wedlock child. They sound like ideal candidates, no? Good luck to them."

Teenagers are bad for your wallet

Everyone knows teenagers are expensive...they want to spend your money. But did you know that they can actually decrease your income as well? Using data from the 2003 National Survey of College Graduates (from the U.S. Census Bureau), researchers have shown that having children ages 12 to 18 has a statistically significant correlation with earnings. Specifically, librarians earn 19.9% less per teenager. So if
you have 5 teenagers, you should just quit your job since you will only be earning 0.5% of your coworker's salary, which is surely below minimum wage. This study focused on librarians, but the trend may apply to other occupations as well.

Sweeper, D., & Smith, S. A. (2010). Assessing the impact of gender and race on earnings in the library science labor market. College and Research Libraries, 71, 171-183.

Federal judge rules that cheerleading is not a sport

Judge Stefan R. Underhill says in his 95-page opinion, "I hold that the University's competitive cheerleading team does not qualify as a varsity sport for the purposes of Title IX."

Quinnipiac University (in Connecticut) was trying to include cheerleaders in its tally of female athletes to show that it had provided equal athletic opportunities to women and men. The judge didn't buy it and ruled that the University had "discriminated on the basis of sex during the 2009-10 academic year by failing to provide
equal athletic participation opportunities for women."

To those cheerleaders who feel that cheerleading is a sport, the judge provides this bit of hope: "Competitive cheer may, some time in the future, qualify as a sport under Title IX; today, however, the activity is still too underdeveloped and disorganized to be treated as offering genuine varsity athletic participation opportunities for students."

Dirty Dr. Potti

Dr. Anil Potti would be a great subject for this blog just for his name. But, it gets even better: Cancer genomic researcher Dr. Anil Potti falsely claimed to be a Rhodes scholar in a grant application to the American Cancer Society, which awarded him $729,000 in research funding.

So he lied on the grant application. Maybe he also falsified research data. Thirty-one of his colleagues recommended ending three cancer trials based on his work because of "serious errors" in his science. The other researchers were not able to reproduce his results in their own labs. Enrollment in the trials has been halted and Dr. Potti has been suspended as an associate professor at Duke University.

News flash: Being a student involves attending class

If you want to pass your classes, it helps if you read the syllabus and actually show up for class. You would think that this student would have figured that out, given that his past classes have often had attendance policies (and syllabi). He must be a slow learner.

Actual email from a college student to a professor:

It has come to my attention that you have an attendance policy for our class of which I did not know because I did not read all of the syllabus before now. I object to this policy as it will hurt my grade and I want to protest that to you in very strong words. This has happened to me many times before that these policies exist and I do not read about them until I have skipped to many classes which is why I am so upset that this has happened to me again. It feels like all the teachers at this school are out to get me because everyone has the policies and it always sticks it to my grade in the end. So in this case I would hope that you would think of me the student and not use this policy on me since its been used so many times before already in other classes with other teachers. Its just not fair to keep it up on me.

A Happy Couple: Peter and Dicky

This PhD student dedicated his dissertation to his parents, Peter and
Dicky. What a couple! Apparently her name is Dicky Marie. If your
name was Dicky Marie, would you go by Dicky or Marie? Use the
comments to vote.

Booty Pop is Stranger than Fiction

This is an actual product called Booty Pop. For $19.95 (plus $6.95 shipping and handling) you can buy a pair of panties that makes your butt look bigger. You can see the TV commercial on YouTube. "Strategically placed pads" add bulk to your derrière. They shamelessly advertise it as "a padded bra for your backside."

Photo courtesy of DemocraticUndergroud.com

No thanks, my butt is big enough already.

Real Estate is Scarier than Fiction

Las Vegas has been named the #1 Riskiest City for Homeowners in the U.S.  In Las Vegas, 8.70% of the homes are in foreclosure. That's terrible enough, but what's worse is the additional 9.86% of home loans that are 90+ days delinquent. That's more than double the average delinquency rate (4.4%) in the 100 biggest cities in the U.S. Almost 1 in 5 homes in Las Vegas is in foreclosure or soon will be. The real estate double dip is officially underway.

Multi-Tasking Doesn't Always Save Time

This guy wants to put a flat-screen TV in his backyard so he can prune his fruit trees while he watches sports on TV. He thinks he is multi-tasking and saving time. Sure, it's a time saver if you don't count the hours spent in the ER after he severs a few fingers with the pruning shears and breaks a rib falling off the ladder while straining to see the game-winning play.

Maybe he realizes this and the pruning is just an alibi to tell his wife while he escapes to the backyard for some screen time.

Royalty: A Recession-Proof Occupation

In this recession, even the British Royal Family has to tighten its belt. However, Parliament member Edward Leigh says that the Royal Family provides an excellent return-on-investment, even in this economy. Leigh says, "Compared with the gross waste in the public sector, this is small stuff. The Queen is a lot cheaper than tedious republics like Germany. Her boost to tourism, to tradition, to heritage, to the country, is enormous. There is no doubt that the Royal family provides excellent value for money."

In fact, each British taxpayer pays only 62 pence ($0.91 in US Dollars) to support the Queen for a whole year. Sounds like a good deal to me. Now I just need to convince Americans that a figurehead monarchy could do for the U.S. economy what Queen Elizabeth does for the U.K. If everyone in the U.S. contributed 91 cents per year, I'm sure I could provide plenty of economy-boosting pomp and pageantry on the $281.8 million per year. Where do I sign up?

Unfortunate Surnames

More strange surnames:

• Toker, as in Cem Toker, leader of the Liberal Democratic Party of Turkey. (Wow...In the US, the politicians have to promise not to inhale.)
• Liberator, as in Sergeant Michael Liberator of the NYPD (who, ironically, puts people behind bars)
• Zizzo, as in Sal Zizzo, professional soccer player. (pronounced ZEET-zo, but you know the kids on the playground called him zit-zo)

Today's grand prize winner for the most awkward name:

• Nora Hongsdusit Haripotepornkul, MD, Ob/Gyn. (How do you pronounce that?)

Practice What You Preach

College professors like to complain that their students copy the content of their papers off of the Internet. Plagiarism has become a major problem in higher education. To answer the need for plagiarism-detection, a company called iParadigms created software called Turnitin, which compares student papers with a database of 130 million previously-submitted student papers, 13.5 billion web pages, and 90,000 journals and books.

Now, iParadigms has found a new market for its "originality checking" software. They have come out with a new product called CrossCheck to see if professors are plagiarizing. Scholarly journal publishers are using CrossCheck to detect plagiarism in manuscripts. One journal had to reject 23% of the papers it received due to plagiarism. Yikes! Our tax dollars are funding these "scholars."

Disclaimer: This blog always links to sources, not just to avoid plagiarism, but also because we don't think you'd believe most of what we post if we didn't provide a link to the evidence!

Strange Warnings

Today we revisit paper shredders. Some paper shredders have unusual warnings. For example, this one forbids neckties. I know this is a disappointment for all of you who need to shred your confidential neckties, but you'll just have to find a different shredder.

This shredder was manufactured by a bunch of "Bah, humbug" scrooges. They do not like the Christmas season at all. In addition to neckties, they forbid gingerbread boys and wreaths.

I guess you'll have to find an alternative way to dispose of your post-holiday leftovers.

World's Ugliest Car

What luck! Of all the cars in the world, I happened upon the ugliest today. This thing makes Pepto-Bismol look like a neutral earth tone. Note the 8AR8IE license plate.

Also, notice that it is parked in a disabled-accessible parking spot. Maybe the owner's disability is colorblindness.

Disclaimer: Strange N. Stranger is not responsible for headaches resulting from looking at this blog post.

Rejected License Plates

We've seen that there is not much off-limits when it comes to naming your child in the United States. You can name your child Aryan Nation. However, the DMV is much stricter about what you can put on a personalized license plate.

Here are some license plates that have been rejected in the US:

• ARYAN (You can name your kid Aryan, but you can't put it on your car...as if the car is going to get teased on the playground.)
• GO POSTAL (Hey, maybe they were just advertising for the USPS)
• PACKN1 (apparently a member of the NRA)
• GWBUSH (no impersonating the president)
• REDRUM (murder backwards--who at the DMV figures these out?)
• IHAV2P (where's a rest stop when you need one?)
• IPOOPD (did we need to know that?)
• IAMHIGH (are you sure you want the cops to know?)
• KLN4U (no advertising your hitman services)
• H8VICK (no dissing Michael Vick)
• TBAGGER (no announcing that you are a member of the Tea Party)

 

More Strange City Names

Generic Places

• Nameless, TN
• No Name, CO
• Nothing, AZ

Boring Places

• Plain City, UT
• Ordinary, KY
• Plainville, IN
• Boring, OR

  Depressing Towns

• Big Ugly Creek, WV
• Little Hope, PA
• Imalone, WI 
• Defeated, TN 
• Embarrass, MN
• Bummerville, CA
• Wimp, CA

  Desperate Towns

• Roads End, CA 
• Hardup, UT
• Last Chance, CO

And, just so we can end on a positive note:

Pleasant Places

• Happy, TX
• Niceville, FL
• Comfort, TX
• Hope, KS
• Carefree, AZ
• Confidence, CA
• You Bet, CA 

 And finally, the smart aleck award goes to the citizens of

• George, WA.

Strange City Names

If you are travelling from Hell, MI to Paradise, PA, you might want to make a side-trip through Purgatory, ME on the way. This unfortunate traveller started at Paradise and ended in Hell. Someone should have told him he was going the wrong way.

And remember, the road to Good Intent, NJ, will only get you to Hellhole, ID.

Non-Productivity Software

How did we ever get anything done without computers and "productivity software"? Pretty well, apparently. With email, blogs, ebay and Facebook, it's hard to focus on what you should be doing. Now people are using software to disable their computers so that they can get some work done. Programs can block email and web browsing or even completely incapacitate your computer. Now stop reading this blog and get back to work!

Illegal Baby Names

As we have seen here on the Life is Stranger than Fiction Blog, many people have unfortunate names. But that is the price you pay for free speech. For example, in New Jersey there are siblings named Adolf Hitler, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie.  I'm not sure what they were thinking of with "Hinler"...maybe they were going for Himmler, who was Hitler's right-hand man.

However, in countries without First Amendment rights, governments have passed laws to prevent parents from inflicting awful names on their children. Here's a sample of the naming laws in six countries:

In Germany and Denmark, the gender must be obvious from the name, and last names cannot be used as first names. Names that would embarrass the child are not allowed in Sweden, Germany or Denmark. In China and Japan, only certain characters can be used in names so that they can be easily written and read, and (in China) so that they can be computerized for ID cards. In Denmark, parents must choose from a list of 7,000 pre-approved names, or get special permission for a name not on the list. In Germany, you can't name your child after an object or product. In New Zealand, names that are more than 100 characters and names that resemble official titles are off-limits. Also, Japan bans "inappropriate" names such as Devil.

So, what have these laws accomplished? They have prevented children from being saddled with the following names:

• Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb111163 (pronounced Albin) 
• A (also pronounced Albin) 
• Metallica
• Superman
• Yeah Detroit
• Fish and Chips
• Anus
• Pluto
• O.crnia (punctuation included)
• @ (the "at" symbol) 

However, the laws failed to prevent these unfortunate names:

• Google
• Lego
• Nemo
• Number 16 Bus Shelter
• Violence
• Benji
• Benson and Hedges (twins)
• Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii (but later changed by a judge)

Don't Drink and Trade

The ups and downs of the stock market can drive you to drink. But stock trading and drinking do not mix. An intoxicated oil futures broker made some $520 million worth of trades in the middle of the night during a binge drinking spree last year. He has "limited recollection" of the trading as he was in an "alcohol-induced blackout" at the time. The zombie trader managed to make the price of oil go up $1.65 a barrel in about two hours' time. The oil futures company that he worked for lost almost $10 million because of his trades. Notice that the last sentence is in the past-tense ("worked"). He has been fired and barred from the stock markets for five years. Actually, he got off easy with a $107,600 fine...he's lucky he didn't have to repay the whole $10 million.

A Sign of the Economic Times

I think that this poor stop sign has fulfilled its career as a traffic sign and should be allowed to retire. Unfortunately, in this economy, no one can afford to retire, not even a faded-beyond-recognition stop sign.

Isn't it strange how people get prettier as the night goes on?

The "Closing Time Effect" is the phenomenon "that when you're drunk and it's late the people around you suddenly seem more attractive." Just to assure you that your tax dollars are going to a good cause, you will be happy to know that researchers have been studying this phenomenon regularly since 1979. The latest study, from Sydney, Australia, has determined that blood alcohol level is only partly to blame for the closing time effect. In the past, studies have claimed that the effect is also caused by the fear of going home alone as closing time approaches. But the Australian study refutes this explanation, saying that the effect is due to two factors (in addition to alcohol):

1. Exposure (looking at the same people for several hours makes them seem more attractive)
2. Scarcity (as people go home and there are fewer in the bar, the ones who are left look better)

Rest assured that the researchers will continue to study this important aspect of psychology. The Australian researchers say, "The phenomenon merits research not only because it is intrinsically interesting but because it is probably occurring nightly in every gin joint in every town in all the world."

More strange names

Nominative Determinism:

• Gary Plummer the Plumber

Nominative Determinism: We hope not.

• Surname: Belcher. Here's a website proudly stating that Belcher means "good cheer." Hey, whatever makes you happy.
• Surname: Fink. As in Stephen Fink of Fink Inc.
• Surname: Kostic. See the Kostic Family Site. My family was caustic, too, we just spelled it differently.
• Surname: Mulder. Sounds like moulder (verb: to rot and decay)

Nominative Onomatopoeia 

• Surname: Pitui. How do you pronounce that?

Lost in translation. These Vietnamese given names don't translate well into English:

• Sinh (boy)
• Dung (boy or girl)
• Bich (girl)
• Hung (boy or girl)
• Hang (girl)
• Phuc (boy or girl)

Bad surnames:

• Ciccocioppo. It looks like they were limited to the number of letters they had to work with, so they made the name really long to compensate for this shortcoming. It's the surname version of a comb-over.
• Mudd. Remember when your mom said, "Get in here right now, or your  name is Mud!"
• Lajiness. Change just one letter, and you have Laziness. That's not going to look good on a job application.

Strange products

You've heard of a paper shredder, but this is a hand shredder. Often used by the mafia when they want to remove fingers.

 

Just kidding, it's a hand-operated paper shredder. And, it was seen on TV! Oops, no, it is just "Similar to items seen on TV."

 

OK, now that I have made fun of the paper shredder, I have to say that it is actually a good little shredder. I like that it is manually operated (instead of electric) because I think it is safer to have in a household that has kids. Also, the blades are hidden, making it difficult (but, I'm sure, not impossible) for a child to hurt himself. Yes, "himself"...girls wouldn't stick their fingers in a paper shredder. The death-and-destruction gene is on the Y chromosome.

  

Strange names of businesses

Strange names are not limited to people. Here are some strange names of businesses and towns.

Strange Restaurants:

• The Boll Weevil, Augusta, GA
• Bub's Dive Bar and Grill, Pacific Beach, CA (The place is a real dive.)
• Fatty's Bar and Deli, San Diego, CA
• Dick's Last Resort, Chicago, IL
• Grumpy's BBQ Roadhouse, Allentown, PA
• Sister Pee Wee's Soul Food, San Diego, CA
• Tent City, Coronado, CA
• Latitude 32, Pacific Beach, CA (Actual latitude of the location: 32.8, so they should be "Latitude 33," but I guess they thought 32 was a more-attractive number.)
• Dos Patrons, San Diego, CA (Very exclusive...only two diners at a time!)

Businesses that want you to kiss it:

• Kiss My Glass:  Window and Window Parts, Las Vegas, NV
• Kiss My Glass:  Custom art glass, Santa Cruz, CA
• Kiss My Glass:  Window cleaning, Jackson, WY
• Kiss My Glass:  Skate Shop, Fresno, CA
• Kiss My Glass:  Auto Glass, Boynton Beach, FL

 Strange towns:

• Hell, Michigan, Actual town motto: "Come to Hell!"
• Now when you tell people to go to Hell, you can give them MapQuest directions.
• Michigan, North Dakota (Having an identity crisis?)
• Belchertown, Massachusetts
• Bellybutton, Arizona 
• Why, Arizona (A philosopher's paradise)

 And, our grand-prize winner:

• Fink Consulting, run by Andreas Fink

Leave it to humans to be the only species to defeat 400 million years of evolution

"We have one type of receptor devoted to sweet, one for salt, one for sour, and one for savory -- but, at the latest count, there are 25 different receptors for bitterness. Scientists believe this variety of bitter receptors capable of detecting thousands of different compounds helps to protect us since poisons and toxins found in nature tend to be bitter tasting." (Devin Powell, Inside Science News Service)
 
Now a company named Givaudan Flavors Corp. has invented a synthetic compound that will block our bitter receptors. The compound is called GIV3727, which makes you wonder if (like WD-40), it is the 3,727th compound that they tried. Why would anyone want to undo our bodies' natural deterrent mechanism for poisons? Because it makes your food taste good. GIV3727 will be coming soon to a diet soda near you. It has also been suggested that GIV3727 will make Brussels sprouts palatable...I guess not everything that tastes bitter is bad for you.

Isn't it strange how your name can influence who you become?

It's called nominative determinism, and here are a few I've come across lately:

• Dr. Peters is a urologist.
• Christopher Coke is a recently-arrested drug kingpin.
• Math professor Barbara Rademacher was named after St. Barbara, the patron saint of mathematicians.
• Dr. Federico Doctor specializes in Family Practice.

Here are some names for which I hope nominative determinism does not apply:

• Unfortunate surname: Slutsky
• Surname that makes you feel like a nobody: Noone
• A hurried surname: Hastie
• This surname might be hard to live up to: Slim

Isn't it strange how a recession can actually provide new job opportunities?

The bad economy has been "taking its toll on romance," and divorces are up in Japan. So an enterprising man named Hiroki Terai found a new calling in life: divorce ceremony planner. He organizes divorce ceremonies where couples can publicly end their relationship by smashing their wedding ring in front of family and friends before officially filing for divorce. Mr. Terai says, "I started this ceremony in April last year thinking that there should be a positive way to end a marriage and move on by making a vow to restart their lives in front of loved ones."

The sentiment is apparently not limited to Japan. Divorce cakes have become popular in the U.S. See this link for some pictures of divorce cakes.

I happen to have attended an "Unwedding Party" recently for a friend who was celebrating the day that her divorce was final. It was complete with cake, food, flowers and a special dress.

Question: What does it mean if you catch the bouquet at a divorce party?

Isn't it strange that while most people pay handsomely for healthcare, others have to be bribed to take their medicine?

Check out this article about paying people to take their medicine, stop smoking and lose weight. The idea is that it will save on healthcare costs in the long term.

I can understand the monetary incentives to help people stop smoking and lose weight. Those things take a great deal of will power, so extra motivation is appropriate. But do we have to pay people to take their medicine? I pay big bucks to fill my prescriptions. Maybe I should just threaten not to take my medicine and then they'll pay me to take it. This could be a new source of income...

Strange animals

Check out this article about cheetahs and jaguars who are attracted to Calvin Klein's Obsession for Men fragrance. This was not discovered by accident (imagine a researcher wearing the scent suddenly becoming the focus of a cheetah's affections). No, this was a hard-won discovery, made "after several years of testing with different fragrances."

I guess big cats and human females have similar taste (or smell) in men.

Strange crimes

Check out this article about a woman arrested for pouring mayonnaise in a library book drop. She is a "person of interest in at least 10 other condiment-related crimes." Apparently she deals in ketchup and corn syrup as well. The best part: Her name is Joy L. Cassidy. Look at her picture. Do you think "Joy" is a fitting name?

Photo provided by the Ada County (Idaho) Sheriff's Department